this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
50% drunk capacity currently
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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