my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
