So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
no you cant smoke seaweed
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
