its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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