so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
