If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
