Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
