just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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