I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
