my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
