I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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