Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
