Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
this hospital has no fireball
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
