So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
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We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
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On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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