I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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