i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Small penises have feelings too.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
