Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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