I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
