also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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