Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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