Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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