Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
