What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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