True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
We left the knife in your bed.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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