How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
