He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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