I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
