Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
