I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
