The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
