I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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