dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
