This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
