Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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