i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Randomize
