I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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