I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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