this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
