So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
