I met the friendliest cop last night
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
