Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
