I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
