You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
