so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
just tell him i said nine months
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
