bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
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