I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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