I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
