3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
