He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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