Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
honey bunches of taint.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Randomize