left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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