he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
