This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I think a kid would responsible me up
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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