he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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