marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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