I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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