how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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