Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
