'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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